Hi hi hi! Well. I've always wanted to do a monthly roundup of things I've been loving, if only so that I can look back after some time has passed and cringe at my nonexistent (read: excellent) music taste, or count the number of times I can recommend the kind of books that make you want to stay in bed all day / buy a large bottle of wine before my friends start yelling at me again (sorry, guys).
And I mean, if anyone gets recs or ideas out of this, I'll definitely be happy about that, too. I mainly expect yelling, but we'll see what happens.
So, here it goes: some things I've loved in November! Things that made me cry! Things that taught me something! Things that made me want to curl up in a ball and die (in a cool way -get it? get it?)! Things, things, things! All the good things!
I started off things in November on a very happy note (lol) by reading A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. I carried it in my bag for a month before finally forcing myself to start it -not because I thought I wouldn’t like it but because I knew it was gonna break my heart into a million little pieces… and boy oh boy, was I right. Here’s what I wrote down when I finished it: how something could rip your soul out and heal it at the same time I do not know. What I do know is I have never, ever read anything more hauntingly beautiful, and though I might never find the words to describe what it meant to me, I can borrow Willem’s (and someone else’s, which is a whole other story) to express what it felt like: home.
‘So tell me this: I must be absolutely sure. This place I’ve reached, is it truly Ithaca?’
I bought The Power of Meaning by Emily Esfahani Smith at a time when I desperately needed to read it (funny how that works, isn’t it?) and I 100% wholeheartedly recommend it if you don’t know what to do with your life / want to feel better about the state of humanity (all of us, right?)
Everyone’s favorite thing in the entire world is currently Call Me By Your Name, and I am everyone. It is my favorite thing in the entire world. I saw the movie twice and haven’t been able to shut up about it since. I still wake up in the middle of the night whispering ‘Is it a video? IS IT A VIDEO?’ and start crying again. It’s THAT good -and if you haven’t seen/read it, I don’t even know what to say to you. If you have, come cry with me on Twitter.
ps. shoutout to my flatmate who had to witness me bawling my eyes out in the fetal position first thing on a monday morning, courtesy of the last 50 pages of the book. André Aciman, you know what you did, you bastard.
My dear friend Bianca Bass took me to see Battle Of The Sexes and MAN, IT’S SO GOOD. So!! good!! Thoughts:
1) the trailer doesn’t do it justice at. all.
2) I love Steve Carrell
3) I really really love Emma Stone
4) I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN
5) I cried so hard (in a good way… sense a theme yet?)
Let’s talk about this season of Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Why? Oh, it’s only one of THE BEST shows currently on television. Rachel Bloom is a major badass and ever the source of life inspiration when you feel like you’re never gonna get out of bed and do adult things with your adult life again. I’ve felt like that a lot in 2017, and a lot of my friends have too, which is why this show is so important. I’ve never seen mental illness depicted the way it is in Crazy Ex-gf, and for that I am forever thankful.
Onto the Nonexistent Music Taste Section, my favorite part! Because even though I've been yelling I HATE ALL MUSIC FUCK THE MUSIC INDUSTRY since the Grammys failed to nominate my baby Harry (f u grammys), I really really love music. Some stuff I’ve been playing on repeat this month:
Recite Remorse by Waxahatchee, whom I discovered through Laurie Anne. THANKS LAURIE ANNE! I love Waxahatchee now!
mood: hampstead early on a sunday morning, coffee in hand, leaves crunching, doggies playing
Magnolia by Eric Clapton & John Mayer, which I’m aware is technically is a summer song, but it’s John fucking Mayer. There’s never a wrong time to listen to John Mayer.
mood: lights off, candles lit, bathtub filled, quiet paradise
Cherry by Luna Shadows, but listen to all her songs because she's so so good.
mood: friday night walking through crowded London with headphones on. bonus points for views from millennium bridge
Miss You by Louis Tomlinson, because if you thought I was gonna get through an entire post without mentioning 1D, you don’t know me at all.
mood: HELL YEAH, THE POP PUNK 1D KING WE DESERVE!
Your best american girl by Mitski. Thanks for rec’ing it and making me cry, Ally, ily.
mood: I have a lot of feelings
Burning by Sam Smith, because boy, the boy is good. Like, really fucking good.
mood: I miss my ex (I don’t really, but this song almost makes me wish I did)
Relief next to me by MUNA because it makes me wanna DANCE and SCREAM and LAUGH HYSTERICALLY for reasons I am not gonna go into since I don’t *really* want people to yell at me
mood: I miss 2014 / I'm not gonna open ao3, I'm not gonna open ao3, I'm not gonna open ao3
Landslide (cover) by The Japanese House, since my Spotify Discover playlist is A LITTLE BITCH whose only mission is to reduce me to a sobbing mess. Not that it takes much, but still.
mood: writing and feeling like I’ve got my life together until the last chorus hits and I just stare into the void forever
Bye Bye Blackbird by Joe Cocker. Listen, it’s fall and I’m a nostalgic 90s baby, sue me.
mood: Meg Ryan old style rom-coms, autumn in New York
Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens. Do I even need to explain this one?
mood: literally just crying until the end of time
Some other stuff:
Australia voted in favor of same sex marriage! The world is (occasionally) a very good place!
I went to Emma Gannon’s CTRL ALT DELETE podcast live recording on the topic of Money x Starling Bank, found my friend Martyna there, had a very good evening and heard some very good advice on a topic that usually makes my throat close up. Stop tapping that damn card anywhere and everywhere, Anna, and learn how to budget. And for the love of god, don’t leave your taxes until half an hour before deadline like you did last year.
I did a photoshoot with a team very very talented women and I’m in love with the results / the side of me they managed to capture. You can see them here.
My friend Jackie hosted a Thanksgiving dinner (two turkeys! five pies! three servings of mash! ‘MURICA!) and it was the perfect evening, complete with lots of wine and cute hand-drawn menus and familiar accents and me losing at charades but loving every minute.
This got very long! I’m kinda sorry but I also had lots of fun writing it, so I’m not really that sorry at all. Love you all (and by all I mean my one faithful reader, my mother, but also anyone else who bothered to read this entire thing, you’re my heroes).
I just realized that next time I do one of these it’ll be 2018 and now I’m sad. Bye.