Things that make me worse, things that make me better
Things that make me worse:
Being away from people I love.
Waking up at 4AM to eat a three-course meal.
Crying in the shower.
Forgetting to drink enough water.
Comparing myself to others.
Chaos and crowds.
Googling 'Kendall Jenner bikini pics'.
Staring at my thighs as if they're not part of my body.
Too much makeup.
Fear of failure.
Sinking my nails into my arms when I cry.
Waking up sad on a sunny, summer day.
Cold, windy days.
Boys who turn out to be assholes.
Girls who turn out to be assholes.
Dumbing myself down.
Shutting myself off.
Leaving crumbs all over the bed.
Convincing myself that someone doesn't like me.
Not doing enough.
Looking up the girl who made my life miserable in high school on Facebook.
Staying at the party even though I want to go home.
Things that make me better:
Eating cereal in bed.
Watching re-runs of Friends.
Asking for help.
Walking to the top of Primrose Hill and feeling very, very tiny.
Going for a long walk by the river.
Writing it all out until it's not just in my head anymore.
Home (the place).
Home (the song).
Running in the rain.
Calling my mom/dad to have a good cry.
Calling my friends to have a good cry.
Changing out of my pyjamas.
Smelling my favorite perfume.
Dancing at 3AM by myself in my room.
Extra portions of dessert.
Re-watching 'Wish I Was Here'.
Shutting off my computer.
Singing in the shower.
Ice cream cocktails.
Acknowledging the pain and giving it the respect it deserves.
Hot baths with candles and a jazz playlist.
Cleaning my room.
Tea and honey.
Old diaries and boxes filled with memories.
Re-reading JK Rowling's Harvard speech about failure.
My happy music playlist.
Getting up from the floor.